Since I want to interview others, I figured I’d interview myself first. So here it is:
Tell me about your family:
I have a husband, a daughter who is almost 9 years old, a son who is 3 and a half years old and we have also had another son who passed away when he was 22 months old in 2002.
May I ask why your son passed away?
I’ll try to make this long story short. When he was 5.5 weeks old, he stopped breathing. We’re not sure why. He was resuscitated, but there was significant brain damage as a result of the extended period without oxygen. We spent the rest of his life doing everything we could to help him thrive. Unfortunately, the Fates conspired against us and at the age of 21 months, his body could take no more of the constant illnesses he was so vulnerable to. Officially, the cause of death is listed as “Anoxic Encephalopathy” (Which means his brain was without oxygen) but the direct cause appeared to be a pneumonia.
How would you describe your parenting style?
Lazy? Heh. I can be authoritative. I try to Attachment Parent…especially when my kids were younger I really identified with the AP and Gentle Discipline theories. We are a house of negotiators, so the authoritarian role doesn’t fit very well, but talking things out does!
How does it compare to your husband’s parenting style?
He tends to be far more willing to talk about the “whys” of things with the kids, whereas I just want them to do what I asked them to do, no questions asked!
What has been your biggest challenge since becoming a mother?
The two years of son #1’s life. I was perpetually sleep deprived but had to do things that required concentration, skill and attention to details. Not to mention still be a sane and loving mother to both kids. My health suffered because I didn’t have the time to take care of myself properly. I was sleep deprived, sick, sore, and heart broken by what had happened to my son. And then we had to face his death. I would not wish the experience on my worst enemy.
Have you had any “ah-ha!” moments that have shaped the way you parent?
The biggest one came before I was a mom. I remember an instance when I was a kid that I said something that really_REALLY_really made my parents angry (I can’t even remember what it was now) and I was sent up to my room with my father on my heels in a fury. I was terrified that I had finally pushed him too far, and in fact I think he smacked my dresser right beside me rather than spanking me. I don’t ever want my kids to be as afraid of me as I was of my father then. (For the record, my parents might have spanked me, but I am not a product of a violent home. In fact, I think my parents are two of the greatest people in the world.) As a result, I have never spanked my children, even when I was really tempted to.
This is my mommy story in a nutshell. Have any questions about me? Just ask!
